Being a stay at home mum

When I handed in my notice at work in January and made the decision to become a stay at home mum I had no idea how hard it would be.  Whilst I know how incredibly lucky I am to spend every day with my amazing child, that there are so many people out there who would love to be in my position, I also feel I have lost a part of who I was and I didn't anticipate how much I would change.

I have been a stay at home mummy now for 9 months, including maternity leave this means I have been off of work for a total of 21 months.

I used to love my job, yea ok there were absolutely rubbish days when I never wanted to go back ever again and hated it, but 95% of the time I really enjoyed it.  Having a job made me feel like I had a sense of purpose in a way, I got up each day, went to work, got shit done and came home.  Im not saying that I don't have a sense of purpose being a mummy, I do, but in a totally different way. Maybe its having a job title I miss, or maybe its the fact that when I went to work I actually finished things I started and got praised for doing a good job? Being at home all day I am lucky to complete one task and I certainly don't get any praise for it.

At work I was in an office filled with people who always wanted to chat, gossip and socialise, at home I am with my toddler that can't yet put a sentence together and favourite thing to shout at me is "no", "mummy" and "poo poo" over and over again.  I do see friends in the week but our meet ups are full of interrupted conversations, chases across parks to retrieve runaway children and baby talk.  In the end we usually give up after a few hours, admit defeat and go home with our tantruming toddlers promising to meet up the week after.

It can be so lonely being at home all day, I sometimes find myself craving the company of my non mummy friends who have actual real adventures and are full of exciting stories of their latest drunken antics and know all the gossip outside of my being a mum bubble.  I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed sometimes and see them checking in at amazing places all over the world, jumping out of planes, swimming with sharks and probably hanging out with J Lo and I start wondering what they actually think of me? These days I check in at soft play centres and all of the pictures I upload are of my child.  Do they think I am now just some big baby bore? Do they like me less because I am not in the shark tank with them? What must they think of me because I haven't been abroad this year when they have been 3 times.  Ridiculous isn't it? I never used to care what people thought of me, I was confident enough to brush off peoples opinions but now I worry about how people view me and my life.  The truth is my friends are still my friends, no matter what we are still buddies, just because we don't see each other weekly now doesn't mean things have changed, they like hearing all about my latest child update just as much as I love hearing their stories (so they tell me haha).

After a day at home with my little one, I find that when my husband gets home I am short with him, snappy and can sometimes just be plain rude.  Its not because I don't love him, its just sometimes I am so bloody exhausted from a day of toddler taming that I can't actually be bothered to talk to any one, all I want to do is go and sit in silence and switch my brain off.  It genuinely makes me feel awful that as soon as he asks how my day was a launch into a full on rant about how shit my day has been, how my day has been so much harder than his because he got a lunch break and I didn't and loads of other pointless crap.  All of this makes me feel awful, I go to bed most nights thinking about how much of a shit wife I have been lately and that I will try harder tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes.  This is one of the things that makes me most upset, that I cant seem to find the right balance and time for both of the men in my life.  Spending time with my husband now has to be booked in and doesn't happen very often, I feel like a bad person for splitting my attention between two people and then for thinking that I need to split it.  I never give my husband enough credit, the truth is he works his arse off every day too, he works hard to provide for his wife and son and give us a comfortable life to enable me to be at home, I will start to be more grateful.

I also can't seem the shake the feeling that I am somehow skiving, that like everyone else I know I should be out there working for a living and bringing in the pennies.  I have had a few comments from friends along these lines who have shamed me for being a stay at home mum, made me feel like I am a lazy layabout who does nothing.  The truth is I'm not skiving at all, when I am home I really do work so hard.  My days start as soon as my little one wakes up and they end long after he goes to sleep, I think I must be pulling 16 hour working days, no union would ever allow that if I was being paid!  My job is payless, thankless and has no limits.  Not only am I a mummy, I am also a cook, clean, nurse, maid, washer, dryer, storyteller, toy player, comforter and a million other things.  I very rarely get any recognition for all of the things I do, its just expected.  I often am made to feel ashamed for being a "non worker".  A lot of people think all I do is sit in parks or spend all day in Costa sipping my Skinny Mocha Latte, truth is I think I have been to costa about 6 times in 32 years, if I tried to make my child sit in his pram whilst I drank overpriced warm drinks he would go bat shit crazy and scream the place down.  Yes I do go to the park everyday but its either that or sit in my lounge and watch him trash the place.  Whether you go to work or you are a stay at home mum you still have a job to do.

As hard as it is, no matter how much I miss my adventures, socialising, money and me time, there is one little person that relies on me to keep him safe warm and fed, I love this little person with all my heart to the moon and back.  One day he won't be a little person anymore, he will be out there in the big wide world as a grown up and he wont need me like he needs me now.  When that time comes I will look back on our special moments we are having now (the good and the bad) and I will know I made the best decision for him, no matter how hard it was.

Vx

Getting ready for a night out...

Saturday night I had my quarterly night off from parenting.  I actually ventured out with grown ups, I had full uninterrupted conversations, a meal I didn't have to share, listened to music that wasn't the bing bong song and drank copious amounts of alcohol, it was great! It got me thinking though, about how much my life has changed over the last few years.

Before my Little O came along, Saturday nights out were the highlight of my week! I loved nothing more than a night out with my friends, shopping for outfits, the getting ready and pampering, the pre drinking and then the actual night out itself.  It was always great fun and some of my favourite memories were created on these occasions.

Pre baby, Saturday night out preparations would always begin on the Friday Night.  I used to spend ages exfoliating, moisturising my dry bits and trying to apply fake tan as evenly as I could.  I would then have to intensive condition my hair overnight and I would spend bloody ages picking out a nail varnish colour so I could give myself a manicure and pedicure.  I would then wake up around 9-10am and laze around the house for a bit before having a shower, leisurely getting ready for a shopping trip into Cambridge to pick up last minute outfit accessories, or maybe I would even buy a whole brand new outfit as heaven forbid I wear the same thing out twice! I would then come home and start the getting ready process which included spending about an hour applying makeup, two hours styling my hair, a million outfit changes, re doing my makeup as it didn't match my latest outfit change and about 500,000 group whatsapp messages checking what the other girls were wearing, skirt or jeans? heels or flats? hair up or hair down?...these are super important and mandatory facts you need to know when preparing for a big event.  When we were finally all ready we would all agree on a rendezvous point (usually my house as my bedroom was in the loft, it meant my parents could hear less of what was going on and we had more privacy), everyone would turn up with various forms of alcohol, usually whatever was cheapest or on offer in Spar, Frosty Jacks Cider, 20/20 and Blue WKDs were amongst our favs! We would bung on our fav soundtrack "Pure Garage" and get off our tits before stumbling down two flights of stairs, straight passed my parents giving them our best we are sober goodbye chats and into a taxi headed to town! Once in town we would head straight to the bar and know everyone there, we would order in our rounds and spend the night dancing in 5 inch heels and laughing until 2am kick out time and then head to the kebab shop before somehow ending up home where I would sleep off our hangover only rising around 2pm the next day because my mum was calling up the stairs that my roast dinner was ready!

My Saturday night post baby preparations last week were a bit different.  They did start on the Friday night about 10.30pm when I decided it would be a good idea to fake tan, I couldn't find any exfoliator which didn't surprise me as I haven't used the stuff in over two years, and I definitely didn't have any moisturiser for my dry bits either so I slapped it on and hoped for the best.  Saturday morning I was woken at 5.30am by the toddler and managed to squeeze in a quick shower to try and wash off the orange looking tan and try and undo the damage done to my knees, elbows and armpits before heading out for a day of looking round B&Q and Homebase.  When we got home I made dinner for the husband and toddler who all of a sudden decided he wasn't very well (why do they always do that on the nights you are going out?), put a load of washing on so that it was ready to be hung out Sunday morning, baby wiped down the kitchen sides and had then about 20 minutes to get ready.  I spent a few minutes looking for some getting ready music on Spotify but gave up when I hadn't heard any of the TOP 20 songs, how out of touch am I?  In the remaining 17 minutes I managed to shower, shave the bits of my legs I couldn't get away with being hairy, pick a dress out of my wardobe that was about 5 years old, get my makeup on and attempt a hair style.  There was no pre drinking and on the way out my friend dropped off some Calpol for the toddler who was still poorly and moaning for mummy as I couldn't find my stash.  Once we got to the bar I had two glasses of Prosecco and was drunk! I then went on to have a few more glasses and a couple of cocktails and found myself a bit shit faced.  A trip to the toilet found me dancing with a pair of plastic legs and somehow managing to knock a painting off the wall, all before 9.30pm, old me would still be pre drinking at that time.  An hour later at 10.30pm I was absolutely knackered and dreaming of my bed.  I had a taxi booked for 11.30pm so was desperately trying to make it through another hour of dancing, my two inch mum heels were hurting my feet so they had come off and I was bare footed.  I lasted another 40 minutes before leaving for the kebab shop, buying a large portion of cheesy chips and going home.  When I got home I dumped the uneaten chips in the kitchen and got into bed, within an hour I was up and chundering, swearing to myself that I would never drink again.  Sunday morning I was woken at 6am by the sleep theif.  In a hungover state I then had to deal with the toddler and make everyone else breakfast, lunch and dinner.

In the space of a few years my Saturday nights have massively changed but do you know what? I couldn't be happier than I am now, to me, my perfect Saturday nights now are sitting in my PJs with my little man and big man and watching TV and eating crap!  I am glad my nights out are few and far between, I couldn't handle that every week anymore.  As much as I love a night off, I love my family more.

Vx

                

 

My Bedroom Inspiration

We have been moved into our new house a little over a week and I am already planning how I would like to decorate our bedroom.

I am a big lover of all things shabby chic, I love pastel colours, twinkly lights and everything girly.  My husband loves Black gloss, chrome, Optimus Prime and anything manly.  We are never going to agree on how we want to decorate the bedroom so he may as well just cut his losses early and just realise I will be getting my own way.  Happy wife, happy life after all.  Right?

I have decided against wallpaper in our bedroom, instead I am going to paint one feature wall and just get a couple of different duvet covers that match the paint, that way its a lot easier to mix it up when you fancy a change as you don't have to worry about duvet patterns clashing with wallpaper patterns. I made this mistake in our old house and it drove me crazy.

At the moment I am obsessed with the colour grey so I am planning on painting the feature wall a pale grey colour, I am going to accessorise with pale pink, golds and minty colours.  I love these colour combinations, these colours are my inspiration so far.

   

      

I really like this duvet cover as well, its from Urban Outfitters and has just gone into the sale, everyone knows if you buy something in a sale it doesn't actually count as a proper purchase so that gives me a free pass to buy another one as well, win!

These are a couple of inspiration pictures I have pinned...

           

 

Anyone that knows me is very aware that I take at least 500 million photos a day of my little love, with this in mind I think I might also need some sort of photo wall to display some of my favourite snaps.  I love these ideas as they are a little bit different.

               

 

Thats as far as my planning has got so far, let me know what you think.

Vx

Leaving L Street

Tonight is our last night in our little house.  I feel so emotional tonight, I still can't quite believe that tomorrow we are moving.  We have only lived here for 2.5 years but the time we have had here has been so special.  I have formed such an attachment to this place and I am so sad to be leaving it behind.

When we moved here we took a massive gamble, we didn't know anyone here and the house was an absolute dump, my husband loved it though and wanted a project house, I went along with it because I fell in love with the open fireplaces and the character it held.  I am so glad we chose this house as we have completely turned it around and made it into our own little nest.  Everything in our house we have built from scratch and designed ourselves, it took us nearly a year to renovate the whole place and every part of it represents our characters and personalities.  Our blood, sweat and tears have gone into making this house a home.  I have also met some lovely people here and have a whole new group of friends that I am lucky to have in my life, if it wasn't for taking the gamble and moving to a totally new town id have never of met them.

When we moved in here there was just Hubby, me and the two cats, after 4 months of living here we found out I was pregnant, I still remember being so shocked that I nearly passed out in the bathroom and being so in denial that I took another 14 tests just to make sure.  In that same bathroom my labour started at 11pm the day before my due date.  I remember pacing around the living room in agony for 56 hours because my labour wouldn't progress enough for the hospital to let me stay in, and my super sympathetic husband watching about 12 bloody Wrestle Manias in a row because I was in too much pain to make him turn it off.

Our little house is where we brought our son home to, I can remember walking in with him in his car seat and putting him down in front of us and looking at each other saying "What are we meant to do now?".  Its where we have watched him grow from a tiny little newborn into an absolute crazy loon of a toddler.  He has spent the first 16 months of his life here, to him this is his safe haven and where he knows as home.  He has had all of his firsts here, smiles, giggles, rolling, crawling, walking, talking.  Its where we have looked after him, played with him and shaped him into the incredible little love that he is.

So many of my most precious memories are all tied up in these four walls.  I know that memories can be taken with you wherever you go and that no matter what you will always have them.  I also know that we will now be starting an exciting new chapter in project house number 2 and that its the start of exciting new adventures and memory making, but I still feel like I am leaving a huge part of what has made us a family behind and I am so sad.  I love this house and what it has helped us to become.

Im off for another cry!

Vx

Rainy Day Messy Play

What are you supposed to do on a rainy day with a tiny tornado of a son that wants constant entertaining and has an attention span that lasts all of two minutes? This is a question I was asking myself last week.  Whilst he napped I went all Pinterest Paula and started searching for ideas for fun things we could do indoors.

I came across loads of colourful and easy looking tutorials for homemade Play Doh so I thought I would give it a go, whats the worst that could happen?

The Play Doh itself was really easy to make, all I did was mix 4 cups of flour with 1 1/2 cups of salt, added in 1 cup of water, 3-4 table spoons of oil and then a few drops of food colouring.  I only had three different colours so on the last batch I added in glittery stars to jazz it up a bit.  It only took about 10 minutes to make, it was incredibly messy though and took a lot longer to clean up.

I put the Play Doh on a tray and added in some cookie cutters and wooden spoons, I set up a safe Play Doh playing zone on the floor of my living room and was feeling pretty smug with myself that in the small time frame that is nap time I had come up with a genius way to keep him entertained, something that I had made myself and hadn't cost a thing.  I eagerly awaited nap time to end so I could show him this new exciting wonderment to play with.

Play Doh playing started off so well, he was happily squashing his hands and feet into it and hitting it with the spoons.  This lasted all of about four minutes, after that it was lobbed across the room, rubbed into the cats fur, eaten and smeared across the floor, the food colouring had even stained his hands.  This wasn't the perfect Play Doh playing scenario I had been conjuring up in my head!

After around 8 minutes of Play Doh playing I removed this item and declared it contraband! I stuck him in the bath and cleaned him up and sat on the floor watching him play for ages happily, why didn't I just put him in the bath originally, then I wouldn't have had a sink full of multi coloured bowls and floury clumps.

Moral of the story, the easy option is always the best option and don't be a Pinterest Paula!

Silver Cross Customer Service

I just wanted to write a quick post about Silver Cross and how massively impressed I am with their Customer Service.

I am the proud owner of a Silver Cross Pioneer.  I fell in love with it as soon as a tested it out when I was pregnant, to me there was no other pram that compared to it and I knew I had to have it.  Thank god for the bank of mum and dad!

I have had my pram now for about 18 months, I use it every single day and have done ever since my little man was born.  As I don't drive I walk everywhere and my pram is a life saver, its the only set of wheels I will ever own so I defiantly need a sturdy and reliable set!

Recently the brake stopped working, every time I released the brake it kept locking the back wheels so they wouldn't turn and just jammed up making it impossible to push.  I tweeted the Silver Cross team who promptly replied within the hour asking me to call the Customer Service number.

When I called the number I explained what had happened with the brake, I told them I had no proof of purchase as it was 18 months ago and said I was happy to pay to get it fixed.  I was really surprised to hear that actually Silver Cross has a two year warranty and that I wouldn't have to pay a thing, amazing!  

The lovely and helpful lady I spoke to on the phone took all of my details and said she would have the courier pick it up, that they would supply a box to put it in and help me pack it up.  She explained that they would fix it the same day they received it and have it sent back out to me that day as well so that I would have it back within three days of leaving me.  

When I received my pram back on the third day I was really surprised to see that not only had they fitted a new brake mechanism, but they had also replaced my two back wheels as they were looking worn, oiled the front ones wheels and given it a service! They even provided a full report detailing this.  They have done an amazing job and throughly checked my pram inside and out.

I am amazed at how much Silver Cross have put themselves out to make sure my trusty Pioneer is in tip top condition and running smoothly.  I feel like they have gone above and beyond and exceeded all of my expectations and I am so glad I decided on this pram.  

This sort of customer service makes me want to stick with Silver Cross when it comes to getting a stroller, why stray to a different brand when you are super happy with your existing one?

V x

Saying goodbye to Teddy

This weekend was awful.  Unfortunately our amazing Super Teds powers ran out and we sadly had to say goodbye.

Teddy has been such a big part of our lives for the last five years, he has been through a lot with us and was without a doubt a huge part of our family.  He was absolute pain in the arse at times but we loved him to bits and feel so lucky to have had him for the time we did.

We feel absolutely heartbroken that he's gone, it just doesn't feel real.  We keep expecting him to come bounding down the stairs meowing.  Our house feels empty without him, its really shocked us just how much of a big part he played in our lives and how strange it feels without the little fluff ball around.

Our fluffy beast wasn't just a cat, he was a little buddy as well, he could always tell when you was upset and would come and snuggle up to you and purr that little bit louder, just to let you know he was there.  He was a little protector and always looked after his brother and was so loving, when I was pregnant he would always come and wrap himself around my bump and sleep right next to it at night time.

Sadly on Sunday morning he was poorly and not acting himself, we decided to take him to the emergency Vet.  The Vet told us it didn't look good and wanted to give him an x-ray, he sent us home and said he would call with news.  30 Mins later we took the dreaded phonemail, we was told a huge tumour had been picked up on the x-ray and we could either choose to have him put to sleep or operate.  We obviously chose to operate as we wanted to save him.  During the operation the Vet called us again and said the tumour was so severe that he probably wouldn't pull through and recover, and that it wouldn't be fair to let him go on.  We had to make the decision to have him put to sleep.  We went back to the Vets so we could be with him in his final moments, it was the least we could do, give him a few last strokes and say goodbye.  It is without a doubt one of the hardest things we have ever had to do.

He hadn't shown any signs what so ever of being poorly, we had no idea how severe things were.  We took him into the Vets thinking he had a stomach bug and then came out with an empty cat carrier.  I think we are still in shock as it happened so quickly.  Id like to think he didn't show how much pain he was in because he was so content.

We have another cat, Baxter, he is Teddys brother, we got them both together as kittens at 8 weeks old.  He is lost without him, he keeps circling the house sniffing things and trying to pick up Teddys scent, the two of them have never been apart, I feel heartbroken for Baxter.

I know a lot of people are probably reading this and thinking I am overreacting and that it was just a cat but to us he was family and we miss him already.  He was as much of a baby to us as our son.  We loved him.  Thanks for being awesome!

Sleep tight Ted x

Papworth Splash Park

Papworth Splash Park

Every Friday Oliver and I meet up with our friends Jo & Amelia, we always try to do something fun that will keep our little ones entertained.  Today was one of those rare super sunny days where it was way too hot to do almost anything except be in water, so we decided to take a little road trip to Papworth to test out the Splash Park.

It didn't take long at all to get there from where we live, no longer than 10 minutes and it was really easy to find.  There isn't a specific carpark for it which I was surprised about as its one of the only Splash Parks locally to us and is a popular place to visit for families.  We didn't have any problems parking though as there are quite a few parking spots opposite the park and also lots of residential areas surrounding it that you can leave your car in, although I am sure the residents probably hate this happening.

One thing that I did find a bit annoying is that the Splash Park is surrounded by quite a deep ditch so there was no way you could get in unless you walked all the way around to the start which was a little awkward when carrying a changing bag, spare clothes, towels, a picnic and a toddler.  This was only a minor issue though but if you aren't keen on a little walk then try to park a bit closer.

When you get inside the first thing you will come across is a wooden adventure playground, our little ones really enjoyed playing on this, its suitable for younger kids this area, it has baby swings, a climbing area, slide and a big net swing which our littles ones loved playing on together.

The thing I really liked about the Splash Park is that there were lots of big trees around the grassy picnic area which was brilliant for keeping our little ones out of the sun.  It was a really big area and although it was very busy we didn't feel like we was on top of other families and still had lots of space to set up and let them have a run around.  This area was also really clean and tidy and well kept.

The Splash pool itself was great fun, the edge of it is the shallow area which was about ankle depth on me and it gradually slopes slightly deeper into the centre of the pool which was mid calf length, about waist height on our little ones who are 16 & 17 months old.  Every half an hour there are water jets that are turned on inside the pool for the kids to play under which seemed really popular with the older kids.  Parents are allowed inside the pool as well which is great if you have little ones who aren't very confident or old enough to play alone.  We had great fun cooling down in the pool.

Behind the Splash Pool is another adventure park, this one looked like it was for bigger kids as there was a tall climbing frame, I didn't go over there though so I'm not sure what else was there.

I would defiantly recommend Papworth Splash Park, its a great place to visit even if you don't have children.  Its absolutely free to get in as well which is always a bonus as sometimes these sorts of places can be really expensive to visit, especially if you have more than one child you need to pay for.  I would say take your purse though as there is an ice-cream van parked up at the entrance which sells cold drinks and obviously ice lollies and ice creams.  I didn't spot any shops close by so this is where you would need to buy drinks from if you run out.

All in all we had a brilliant day here today, we can't wait to go back again soon.

Vx

My Skincare Favs

My Favourite Skincare Products...

Since turning 30 and becoming a mum I swear the crows feet around my eyes literally embedded themselves over night.  Long late evenings sitting up with my little sleep thief really took its toll on my skin.  It has always been the first thing to suffer if I am feeling run down so I knew I really needed to find some products pronto to help wake up my dull, dreary and rapidly ageing face.

I asked some friends which products they would recommend I try and nearly all of them suggested I give Liz Earle a go.  I logged onto their website and had a quick read through their products and decided to order the Cleanse and Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser and the Instant Boost Skin Tonic which came with two Muslin Squares for free as I ordered a gift set, who doesn't love a freebie?

My Daily skincare routine consists of the following three steps: -

1. Every morning as soon as my son goes down for his nap the first thing I do is jump in the shower.  The first product I use is the Cleanse and Polish.  I absolutely love that it comes in a pump bottle as I find it uses up all of the product, even the last dregs at the bottom so there is never any wastage.  You only need one pumps worth of lotion as I find it goes a long way.  The consistency is really thick and creamy so its easy to see and feel where you have applied it.  Once I have rubbed it in I then run my muslin square under warm water and wipe away the cleanser and my skin instantly feels smooth and moisturised.  I personally prefer this way of removing my makeup as I find it makes a lot less mess as you aren't splashing about and its easy to do over a sink when you are in a hurry, you are just simply wiping your face clean with a cloth.

2. I have always for as long as I can remember been a huge fan of the Clean & Clear Morning Energy Skin Brightening Daily Facial Scrub, this has always been on my shopping list.  I find I only need to buy one tub of this a month as it lasts such a long time, even my husband pinches this for himself.  It has a lovely citrus smell to it and I love the feeling of my skin after I have used it.  You also don't need much of this product as it goes a long way, it exfoliates my skin really gently and always gets rid of any dry patches and leaves my skin feeling tingly and smooth.

3. I end my routine with the Instant Boost Skin Tonic also by Liz Earle.  I splash a bit of this on cotton wool and sweep it across my face just to make sure I have removed every last bit of my makeup.  This is my all time favourite toner ever, it leaves my face feeling so refreshed and smooth and it really does brighten my skin up and make me feel and look a lot fresher than I am most of the time feeling.  I also find it makes my skin feel firmer and tighter and gives me that feeling you get after you've had a facial in a salon.  It also smells like a Spa, its incredible.

4.  L'oreal Pure Clay Detox and Brighten Mask.  I don't use this product every day as I just don't have the time but I do try and use it once a week.  This product has only recently become available to buy and I have to say I think it is fab.  Once applied on your face it drys really quickly and one of the things I like is that when you move your face and smile / frown it doesn't crack and start flaking off so it isn't messy at all.  The consistency is quite thick and obviously being a clay mask it goes on grey so you can see exactly where you are applying it.  Once I have washed the mask off my skin noticeably looks a lot brighter and radiant and it feels tight and smooth, I defiantly think this mask helps to even out my skin tone as well.

There you go, my review on my fav skincare products.  I can honestly say that all of these products used together have been a godsend and my skin has never felt or looked healthier.

Vx

What type of mum are you?

Since becoming a mummy I have encountered quite a few different types of mums on my adventures.  In my experience each group of friends has at least one of the following "types"in their wolfpack.  Here is a summary of my findings so far, do you fall into any of these categories?

Pinterest Paula - Pinterest Paula stays up late every night pinning ideas to specially created boards.  She can recite recipes off by heart for at least 10 different types of baby led weaning fruity oat bars.  She has an ecard quote or meme pinned for every scenario you could possibly think of.  Her house is filled with hand painted jam jars and her garden is full of furniture up cycled from crates.

Winging it Wanda - Winging it Wanda hasn't got a clue what she is actually doing, she never read the books and shuts off when other people offer advice.  She wakes up every day and hopes for the best.  She makes plans as she goes along and has faith it will all work out.  Winging it Wanda ambles along in life and knows it has been a successful day when she's managed to keep herself, the husband and the kids alive and also take a shower.

Perfect Pam - Perfect Pam wakes up at 5am.  She starts her day with a jog around the park comes home and blitzes the whole house.  She manages to get 2 loads of washing done, iron a fresh shirt  and have breakfast on the table for her husband before he leaves for work.  Perfect Pam decides to invite the mums over for coffee, she whips up a 3 layer delicious chocolate fudge cake complete with embellishments within an hour.  Perfect Pam only uses fresh organic vegetables to make perfect homemade puree for perfect Patty, her daughter.

Bullshit Bertha - Bullshit Berthas baby slept through the night at 1 day old, Bullshit Berthas baby can recite the entire alphabet aged 6 months.  Bullshit Berthas baby didn't just learn to roll, he learnt to summersault, he is actually on the Olympic gymnast team and won a gold medal from the womb.  At 8 months old Bullshit Berthas baby knew its 10 times tables and also swam 22 lengths of a pool without using floats.  Bullshit Bertha is a dick.

Irreplaceable Irene - Irreplaceable Irene is always there for you no matter what.  You need Calpol but can't get out of the house, she brings over five bottles.  You've had a horrendous day so she brings you chocolate.  You start doubting your ability as a mum so she makes a powerpoint presentation of 500 reasons why you're kicking ass at being a mum.  Irreplaceable Irene is a little ray of sunshine that you want to keep in your pocket forever.  No matter what she has your back.  She is your rock.

Mentor Mona - Mentor Mona has older kids.  She knows all about how shit mum life can be and advises on how to deal with every phase and dilemma that kids dump on you.  She is sensible and wise and coaches you through the hardest of times with the best advice.  Mentor Mona is always there to help.  From Colic to the colour  and cosistancy of your babys poo, she knows all of the answers and remedies.

Secret Agent Sarah - Secret Agent Sarah knows you better than you know yourself.  She knows all of your previous addresses, the names of your entire family and probably the colour of your underwear.  She has stalked you and absolutely everyone else connected to you to the point of no return on Facebook.  She has to constantly think before she speaks every time you meet up so as not to slip up about the holiday she knows you went on to Marbella with the girls back in 2001 and how she knows you can't actually afford the coffee and cake you are scoffing in Costa as she knows your Bank balance too.

Fashionista Flora - Fashionista Flora literally looks like she has just stepped off of the cover of a magazine.  Every single outfit she possesses is on trend, she seems to know fashion before its fashionable.  You have never seen her wear the same outfit more than once.  With the right accessories she could even make a bin bag look Vogue.  She wouldn't be seen dead in a pair of leggings and thinks trainers should never be worn outside of the gym.

Facebook Frankie - Facebook Frankie you have only ever met once through a mutual friend, before you had even made it home she had friend requested you, ever since then you have never spoken but she likes and comments on every single photo you upload as if she is your best friend.

Over Opinionated Olive - Over opinionated Olive hates your new hair colour and thinks your dress makes you look fat.  She thinks you should join slimming world as you are obviously having trouble loosing the baby weight and still look like a burst cumberland 17 months on.  Over opinionated Olive thinks your brand new pram and pride and joy is hidious, she thinks you are over feeding your baby and he will turn out to be a fatty like his mummy.  She thinks you are a terrible mother because you fed your baby Quavers when you could have bought Organic Carrot Puffs instead.

Hypochondriac Hilda - Hypochondriac Hilda thinks she might have pneumonia, she was a cold.  Hypochondriac Hildas baby has gastroenteritis, he just had a poo.  Her favourite pastime is googling illnesses and thinking that she actually might be dying, she oddly revels in this thought and the attention it might bring her.  She is on first name terms with the receptionist at the Doctors surgery and is there so often she has her own chair in the waiting room named after her.

Gym Bunny Gill - Gym Bunny Gill goes to the gym 3 times a day.  Her entire wardrobe is made up of outfits from Sweaty Betty and you have never seen her in anything other that brightly coloured lycra.  She owns five pairs of trainers for each day of the week.  You once saw her deadlifting her baby in the park.

Airy Fairy Annie - Airy Fairy Annie didn't have a midwife, she had a Doula.  She didn't need drugs to push out her baby, she lit some scented candles, made her husband waft around some joss sticks, put on some whale music and out it popped out.  Airy Fairy Annies baby poops glitter and has daily playdates in the clouds with all the other magical unicorns.

I think I actually fall into a few of these categories, I bet quite a few of us actually do.  The thing is, even though some of these types aren't everyones cup of tea, we do actually all need each other, even if it is just for entertainment purposes.  We are all on the same motherhood journey together, some just choose to go about it differently to others but if we was all the same life would be boring, right?

V x

When the guilt kicks in...

Mum guilt...

The time has come, I knew it would be here one day but I wasn't quite expecting it to arrive so soon.  My little boy is going to Nursery.

I have had an absolutely incredicle 18 months off of work with my beautiful little Oliver.  We have spent every single day together over the last 16 months since he entered the big wide world, I have loved (mostly) every minute. I think this is partly my problem and why I am so anxious about what is to come.

Before my precious little bundle came along I loved my job, I loved going to work, getting stuff done, the adult conversation and the social side of things that came with it.  Because of this I had every intention of returning to work when my 12 months maternity leave was up.

Before I had a baby I thought going back to work would be easy, I couldn't understand what the big deal was and why my mummy friends were posting statuses or sending me messages about how upset and heartbroken they were, I am ashamed to say it now but I thought they were ridiculous.  Then one day it was my turn.

It is so true what people say, you don't ever fully understand what something is like until you have been in that situation yourself.  This couldn't have been truer than when it came to making my decision to stay on at work or resign and become a full time mummy.  At that point I realised that my friends were not at all ridiculous, they were actually bloody incredible mums and their kids were their world!

Just a brief background, when my son was born I suffered with PND and anxiety, it was an awful time and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  At my worst I wasn't able to let him out of my sight and even letting people hold him or touch him would send me over the edge, I just wanted to hide away in my house with my baby and my husband and not let anyone else in, ever.  I didn't trust anyone with him, I convinced myself that the only person who could look after him and protect him was me, because of this I have never been able to let anyone look after him for longer than a few hours, in fact the longest we have ever been apart is 5 hours!  This played a huge part in my decision regarding work.

Eventually, after lots of talks with my husband we both agreed it would be ok that I didn't return and that I stayed home to look after Oliver.  I am very lucky that we was able to accommodate this decision and I am so grateful of my hardworking husband for making this possible, I don't always show it but deep down I truly am thankful (If you are reading this then you aren't always the massive arse I tell you that you are, big kiss).

This week though I had a huge reality check.  I looked after my friends beautiful little girl for the day on Wednesday, its the first time Oliver has ever spent a full day with another little one, we do go to baby groups and have playdates but they are just for a few hours here and there.  On Wednesday he had the time of his life, they had so much fun together playing, giggling and causing mischief that it brought on a whole heap of mum guilt and realisation....I was only keeping him home with me and not sending him to nursery because of how it made me feel and my anxieties, I hadn't considered the benefits for my child and how much he would love it, I had been totally selfish and only been thinking of myself.  I don't think I have ever felt as guilty in my life as I do over this.

The next day I took a massively brave step for me, I wrote a post on the local Facebook mummy group and asked for opinions  and recomendations on the Nursery's in the town where we live.  I made a list, checked out their Ofsted Reports online, stalked their Websites and Facebook pages and finally decided on one I thought would give my little man the best start in life he deserves.  I called up and made an appointment to look round before I could change my mind.

The day we was due to look around I felt a mixture of emotions, terrified about letting him out of my site, worried he was too young to leave my side, happy he would be making new friends, excited about all the new things he would be learning and sad at how quickly he had grown up without me realising.

When we got to the nursery we was greeted by lovely and friendly staff, the children were outside in the garden area having a picnic, they all looked so happy.  When we got inside the nursery room we let Oliver get down and have a run around, his little face lit up, he was running around like a crazy loon exploring this new room and all of the toys, he looked ecstatic, I knew there and then I had to do this, not just for him but also for me.

Its going to be the hardest thing in the world being apart from my little sidekick and I can absolutely 100% now empathise with my friends and how they all felt.  I know for a fact that he will be completely fine being away from me, he will be having the best time ever with his new buddies and probably won't even notice I have gone.  I  also know that in time I will be fine as well but I have a feeling it will take a little bit longer for me to adjust than him.  What on earth am I going to do with my time now?

Vx

Peppa Poxy Pig...

Peppa Pig....my little one is obsessed with Peppa, so much so that it was one of his first words! I think I have probably seen every episode now at least 10 times and because of this I am without a doubt an expert. If I was ever to appear on mastermind, this would definatly be my specialist subject!

Being such a Peppa Pig enthusiast has led me to ponder some very serious issues, things that I have genuinely sat and spent time thinking about.  Here are a few of my musings...

1. Why do the mummy animals not go out once a week and get off their tits on Prosecco and Sambucca shots? All the daddy animals meet up once a week for football practice and a bit of lad time, it just doesn't seem fair.

2. Why are all of the kids in the same class when they are all different ages? Surely Peppa should be in Primary School and George in Nursery? Do they not follow the national curriculum in the animal kingdom?

3. Miss Rabbit must be a multi millionaire, I swear she does every single job in the town.  Does she ever sleep? Maybe she's on crack and thats how she gets through all her shifts, either that or she's trying to get a sponsorship deal from Duracell as the new bunny!

4. Why does Danny Dog live with his Grandad, was he orphaned or did his grandad get custody when the social got involved?

5. Will Daddy Pig ever get the hint and join slimming world?

6. Why is George called George, it just doesn't fit in at all with the rest of the animals and their alliterated names.  Shouldn't he have been Peter, Paul or even Percy? Whoever came up with George missed out on a big old money maker there, they could have teamed up with M&S and made a tonne selling Percy & Peppa pig sweets! George Pig sweets sound crap!

7. Who would call their child Peppa? Was she originally Pippa? Maybe when Mummy and Daddy Pig took her to get registered the registrar cocked up her Birth Certificate with a typo leaving her screwed for life?

8. Why is Peppa never given a time out or put on the naughty step for being such a cheeky mare with a massive attitude problem?

9.  Why has everyone decided to live on the top of a hill? They all have kids, who the hell wants to push a pram up a hill every day, all seems like a bit too much effort to me.

10. I wonder what Mummy & Daddy Pigs names were before they became parents?

11. Am I the only person that think the pigs heads look like little Willys?

Also, a few things that really annoy me...

I can't hear the word Dinosaur anymore without saying it in my head in Georges voice! I can't not make a snorting noise when the theme tune is on and I really bloody hate the bing bong song!!

V x

Haven, Thorpe Park Resort

Haven Thorpe Park Resort, Cleethorpes...

I would just like to start this post off by saying that I have previously stayed with Haven at their Seashore and Weymouth Bay Resorts and have absolutely loved them, I honestly couldn't find a single fault in either of these two locations and would happily go back to them.  This is what led us to book a long weekend at the Thorpe Park Resort in Cleethorpes.

Haven resorts have been perfect holiday breaks for our little family, the Caravans are the perfect set up for us as our baby has his own room and isn't disturbed when we watch TV in the evenings, there is lots of space, a separate bathroom, kitchen and living area.  You don't get all of that with a hotel room, in a hotel you are all crammed into one room watching the TV with minimal sound so its practically on mute whilst sitting in the dark and whispering so as not to disturb your sleeping child.

Because we have been so happy with the above two resorts we thought that we would try somewhere different and book up a seaside weekend break for my birthday.  When we was booking our trip we had the option of booking a Summer House, when we read the description for this it all sounded brilliant and worth the money, one of the main features that attracted us to the Summer House was the fact the Haven website stated many of our summer houses come with a verandah (see picture taken from their website).  This sounded perfect as it would give our little boy some outside space to play on safely and would give us somewhere to sit outside and have a drink and relax in the evenings when he was in bed.  We booked this up online and then called up the next day to confirm this and make sure we would defiantly get a verandah, we was told that a note had been made on their system and that they guaranteed we had one.

When we arrived at the Summer House located in the Waterside section of the park we was absolutely gutted to see that we was the only Summer house in our row to not have a verandah.  Once we had got our bags inside I called up the reception and said there must have been  mixup, I was told there was no mixup and that in fact no Summer Houses on their site had verandahs and if we wanted one of those we had to pay to upgrade to a Prestige Caravan.  I quoted what the website stated, also relayed my telephone conversation to them and also said I could quite clearly see that every one of the Summer Houses in our row had a Verandah but they just wasn't interested and really did not want to help, tired from a long car journey I gave up trying to argue with them.

I had also paid to hire a travel cot for my baby, this was not in the Summer House when we arrived, I called reception again and was assured it would be delivered to us no later than 6pm as that is when reception closes.  6pm came and there was still no travel cot and reception was now closed and my child was falling asleep with no bed to sleep in.  I called the out of office reception number at 6.30pm and asked where the travel cot was, a very rude and abrupt lady answered and basically told me it would be with me when it was with me and to just wait!  I was shocked and disgusted to be spoken to in this way for an error that was quite clearly theirs and not mine, 10 minutes later this lady turned up with the travel cot but didn't say two words to me, she just handed it over and walked off.  Terrible customer facing skills.

When we started to unpack we discovered that there was a ladies pair of shoes left in the wardrobe, it obviously hadn't been cleaned or checked by the cleaning team as there was no way they would have been missed if it had been.

Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, the next day, after cooking my son some pasta, I went to drain it using the colander in the kitchen to find it was covered in mould (picture attached).  How can anyone think that leaving a mouldy kitchen utensil out for other people to use is acceptable? If I had not spotted this and used it my baby could have become seriously ill.  When I checked the rest of the cutlery and utensils it was clear none of them had been washed up, they had all been put away dirty.  The spoons had dried up tea on them, the plates and bowls still had food stuck to them and the glasses had lip marks on, I had to go and buy washing up liquid and wash everything properly before we could use them.

                 

 


In the bedroom that our son was staying in the curtain pole was hanging off and only attached at one end, it was the same in the living room (pictures attached).  I called the reception who said they would send the maintenance team round to fix it, they did fix the bedroom but ignored the living room.  If my son had pulled on this it would have come right down and smacked him on the head, it was a huge health and safety offence that could have been very dangerous.

           

There was also dried food stuck to the ceiling of the caravan and the door in the kitchen (pictures attached).  The caravan was filthy and clearly had not been cleaned at all.

 


We also had to call the maintenance team out again as the TV was broken and only worked on one station.

It took us 3.5 hours to drive to the resort from where we live, checking out of the resort and going home wasn't an option as there is no way we could have made our baby sit in the car all that time again to go home.  As we have never been to the area before we had no idea where any other accommodation was situated so we decided to make the best of an awful situation and clean the Summer House ourself.

When we got home I complained about my experience to Haven.  I had to wait 14 days for them to look into this, I told them that I either wanted a full refund or a replacement holiday to make up for the awful one we had just had.  When I received my reply from Haven I was offered £50 refund and told that because we stayed on site and didn't leave to go home that was the best they could do and that they would look into the cleaning teams work, also that they could find no where on their website that stated the Summer Houses had verandahs, they didn't even mention my telephone call to their call centre where it was confirmed we would have one!  I phoned the number on the letter and said I was not happy with this and was told that it would be looked into further and to wait another 7 days.  After another 7 days I was then given a final offer of 25% of the holiday cost back.  I honestly feel like this is a joke of an offer.  The Haven website should not state that they have a certain type of accommodation if this isn't true, its false advertising.  I feel like we was cheated out of a holiday that we had booked for my birthday and that was meant to be special because of their lack of care and attention.

Being a full time mummy and only having one income coming into our household means that our holidays take a while to save up for and when we finally book and go on one we expect it to be perfect and everything we hoped for and more.  I can honestly say this holiday was an absolute nightmare and I wish we had never gone.  A total waste of our money and we will not be returning or recommending this resort to anybody.

To anyone considering staying at the Thorpe Park Resort in Cleethorpes, TOTALLY AVOID!!!

V x

Inside my Makeup Bag...

                             

I love looking inside my friends makeup bags, so I thought I would open up mine to you...

I would just like to start by pointing out that I am by no means a makeup expert, I have absolutely no idea how to contour and every attempt I have ever made at a smokey eye has made me look like I have been in a fight! My approach to makeup is to pick up random things that I think I need and take them to the till!

I don't use all of these products everyday as having a 16 month old tiny tornado massively restricts the time I have to get ready.  When I do get time though these are my favourite tried and tested products.

P R I M E R

I have tried a few Primers over the years but my absolute favourite is Photo Finish Primer by Smashbox.  In my opinion nothing else even compares to it.  Its so light and feels really silky on your skin.  It holds my foundation in place brilliantly for at least 10 hours leaving it with the just applied fresh look.  I get the light one as I find this one reduces the oiliness in my skin and really does make my foundation appear matte.  You really don't need to use a lot either, I use two blobs about the size of a tic tac and it covers my whole face.  You definitely get your monies worth in my opinion.

C O N C E A L E R

I have just recently changed concealer, I always used to be a big fan of Erase Paste by Benefit but now its all about Mineral Touch Skin Perfecting Concealer by Younique!  A friend of mine sells it and I had heard really good things about it so thought I would give it a try and I am so glad I did.  The consistency is thick and the coverage is amazing, its the only concealer I have ever used to totally banish all traces or dark circles under my eyes.  It also completely covers a small birthmark I have in between my eyebrows.  You only need the tiniest drop of this as it goes such a long way.  Its also really easy to blend in.  I always go a shade lighter than I am meant to so it gives            a slight highlight under my eyes.

F O U N D A T I O N

My favourite foundation is Healthy Mix Gel Serum by Bourjouis.  I hate the feel of thick and heavy foundations on my skin which is why I love this product.  It is so light and soft and blends in lovely, I don't even feel like I am wearing foundation when I have this on.  The consistency is quite runny and thin but the coverage is always even and smooth and makes me skin feel soft and it gives it a soft illuminated glow.  It never feels tacky or sticky and it smells lush which is always a bonus.

P O W D E R

When it comes to face powders I have always preferred loose powders over compact ones.  I like to be able to start with a light coverage and build up to a thicker one where needed.  My favourite is Natural Finish Loose Powder by Liz Earle.  I always find that it gives a great coverage but also feels really light on my skin.  It always looks matte and smooth and lasts all day and well into the night without having to reapply.  I always use the Natural Ivory shade lightly and find if I need it to appear a bit darker (if I have fake tanned) then I just need to do two coats of it and it matches perfect.

B R O N Z E R

For my Bronzer I use another product by Younique, its called the Beachfront bronzer, I always use the Malibu shade.  The thing I like about this bronzer is that its actually huge and lasts ages so its good value for money, its also split into two so that you get two different shades of bronzer mixed into one when you apply it.  Its really shimmery and gives a subtle golden glow.

B L U S H E R

I actually use a cheap and cheerful blusher, its by MUA and costs £1.  I always a small amount just for a subtle rosey glow, I always go for quite a pink shade to achieve this, I picked colour Candyfloss.  It doesn't last that long and you need to apply after about 3/4 hours if you have time but for that price you can't go wrong.

T O P  L I N E R

One thing I have to wear daily is top liner and mascara, I feel naked without out, no matter how little time I have in the morning these are two things I can't go without.  My favourite liquid eyeliner is Glam Eyes by Rimmel, the brush is so thin and absolutely amazing for intricate lines and also creating wingtips and flicks as you can build up the thickness really easily.  I always go for the Black Glamour Colour as its really dark and makes me eyelashes look longer.

M A S C A R A

   

I actually use two different Mascaras, they are both my Maybeline, one is the Colossal Volume Express Cat Eyes and the other is the Colossal Volume Express Smokey Eyes.  I always use the Cat Eyes first as the thin curved brush gets right to the root and really lengthens them, I then go over with a second coat using the Smokey Eyes which is a thicker brush and that makes them look a lot fuller.  I have tried so many Mascaras  but these are my absolute favourites.

E Y E B R O W S

I have my eyebrows HD'd every 6 weeks so don't really do a whole lot with them really.  I do find though at about week 4ish the tint starts to fade so I just use an eyebrow powder to give them a bit more colour.  I use a pallet by MUA which is another super drug cheapy.  I use the fair - medium pallet which comes with 4 colours and a little brush, it does the trick and the colour looks good and subtle, I hate huge dark eyebrows on people, I just don't understand how people think it looks good?

L I P S

                            

I have stupidly thin lips and absolutely hate them.  I always try and wear really subtle colours so as not to draw attention to them.  Im not really a lipstick person and always prefer glosses or tinted lip balms.  I wear these every day without fail, at the moment my favourites are the Cor Balmys by Barry M, I have colours Adam & Eve and Rosie Lea.  They taste amazing and smell amazing and they keep my lips from getting chapped.  They are perfect for me as they just give off a slight tinted shimmer and aren't overbearing.

Last but not least, how amazing is my makeup bag? It was a birthday gift from a lovely friend, I'm obsessed with it!

Anyway thats whats inside my makeup bag, I would love to hear what is inside yours!

V x